Tools of the Trade: Essentials for the Modern Gainer

Something that has always amazed me is that a lot of gainers don’t have scales. I was hunting around online for a good one as a gift for the boyfriend, and I got to thinking. What are the essentials for a gainer? I talked with a few of my buddies about it and this is the list we compiled.

Scale


Numbers can be a great motivator. Although in the end, it’s all about finding the body you want, who are we kidding. We’re guys, guys like measuring things. Watching the numbers go up on the scale can be an incredible turn on.

Make sure you have a scale, but don’t weigh yourself every day. As I said in the post before, the small ups and downs on the scale will generally just discourage, but, weigh once a week and watch the numbers go up up up. Make sure the scale has a high enough upper weight (most go only to 300, but home scales going up to 400 do exist).

Also, think about investing in a talking scale, if you plan on getting really huge. My friend Oneoddguy (from BellyBuilders) was talking to me about this and said:

“They need to make a scale that dings when it’s done, cause I can’t see past my belly.”

Hot. Impractical. But hot.

Here’s a not super expensive, sleek looking scale that goes up to 400lbs.

Gym shorts

Bryan (author of Trouble in the Mix) suggested gym shorts. They’re comfortable, elastically waisted, and perfect for a really big meal. And oh yeah, you can use them for the gym too. ;)

Bryan said:

“You can find stylish workout shorts, pair them with zipups (like this one) and do american sportswear look and accommodate an elastic waistband for lunch. But buy your size, don’t just get big ones, cause you want them to hug your ass. The elastic will give, but you still want a hot ass. You can do casual and comfortable that gives you room to get stuffed but still be sporting prep. Because if I'm in tight pants and I eat so much that they get painfully tight, I usually stop eating.”

And anything getting in the way of Bryan’s eating is not good. Not good at all.

Lotion



Another indispensable thing for a gainer (or an encourager actually) is lotion. Nothing increases the pleasure of a bellyrub than a little bit of lotion. Keeps the skin soft and strong, and if fortified with vitamin E, often helps prevent or fade stretch marks a little.

I like this stuff.


Bryan likes this.


For you guys worried about stretch marks already existing, ask your dermatologist about retin-a for fading them. Although a lot of over the counter stuff doesn’t do much, there are things you can do, just ask your doc.

Tape Measure


Any generic tape measure will do. As I mentioned with the scale, numbers can be a big motivator. Measure your belly -you’ll notice growth there even sometimes when you don’t see it on the scale.

LiveStrong Calorie Counter App for iPhone


This app is fantastic for a gainer. You put in your stats, tell it you want to gain 2lbs a week, and log everything you eat. It tracks your progress, accounts for exercise (cause a strong, healthy gainer is a happy gainer) and gives you a visual representation of how much you need to be packing in each day (at least haha).

Blender


Makes gainer shakes. Then you drink them. Nuff said. Try this cool, retro one.



Online Food Delivery Websites

What aspiring fatboy doesn’t want the internet to bring him food. There are a host of websites that make finding a local place that delivers easy. A few places even deliver groceries.

In Manhattan, I am a fan of SeamlessWeb.com, and a little less so of Delivery.com. Bad customer service experience on Delivery.com, but both are pretty solid. Menupages is a little less streamlined, but also useful. FreshDirect.com is unbeatable for groceries, and they have nutrition facts. You can pick the most caloric thing, and have a great selection of high quality and organic stuff delivered right to your door. Awesome.

Zagat.com is great if you’re planning on leaving the house, and they have guides for cities all over the world. If you're in college, or even near one check out CampusFood.com
According to Oneoddguy, a lot of pizza places have online delivery too. His favorite website is Domino’s. Here’s why:

“I love Dominos. It tells you what’s going on with your pizza, from who made it to who’s bringing it.”

I personally enjoy Poppa Johns cause they’ve added a whole wheat pizza crust. I mean, I know it’s still not good for you, but it’s cute they’re making the effort.

Camera

The one complaint I’ve heard consistently over the years from gainers is that they wished they had taken more pics of their progress. Nothing is hotter than seeing how far a gainer has come, and few things are more inspiring to a beginner who doesn’t even think they’ll be able to get fat. Get a decent digital cam, and take pictures whenever you feel like it. I have a Canon Elph, and I love it. So, take a pic. Make a vid. Even if you don't show anyone, you’ll be glad you did when you’re rubbing your hard earned belly, reminiscing about your skinny days.


See? That hotness would not have been possible without a camera. And a lot of beer contributing to that Freshman 40.

Premium Beefyfrat

Although some guys might find this a little controversial (and no, I’m not being paid a dime to say this), I really think every gainer needs a premium Beefyfrat membership. Seriously. It’s 5$ a month. That’s like, one frap at Starbucks, or two ATM fees a month. I’ve def. spent a lot more money on things that don’t directly lead to me getting off. The guys on there are incredibly inspiring. Feeling full? Look at a few pics of one of your idols on Beefy and try finishing that last slice of pizza. It’ll make it easier.